Alright, I was going to dedicate today's post to Boise's awful drivers (for reals, ya'll ride ass like a perv.) As well as a HI-LARIOUS trend I have noticed (big boys on big tricycles...seriously) but it's all going to have to wait for one major "WTF" of a tale.
It all began, oh, 15 minutes ago when I drove myself to Winco. I was feelin' pretty good about getting myself there with out getting lost. I was on a mission for a Birthday cupcake (it's a friends b-day) and maybe a jo-jo or two for myself (what? It's Saturday!). Jo-jo's in hand I made my way to the bakery, only to be stopped by one of my only favorite alcoholic beverages, Wild Blue. This beer tastes like blueberries, and looks like dirty Kool-Aide, but I love it. Now, I don't drink much, I've kinda retired from my party days. And since I began my new medication (my doctors are trying to turn me into The Hulk) I don't really drink at all, ever. But, I thought I would treat myself and buy a pack. I can drink half of one bottle with out going all street-rat crazy. So, I stood in front of the coolers, looking at the beer like I really knew what I was thinking. Things were chill as I contemplated my purchase- UNTIL
"Daddy yuck!" A little voice screamed. "Yes, we don't drink that!" Roared a man.
Peeps were down on my alcohol contemplation. My 15 year old (looking) body grasping that big kid drink was not sitting too well with the customers of Winco.
Whatever, I thought. It's good to tell your lil' ones not to drink this stuff.
I grabbed a case. All was cool again- UNTIL
"Judgement!" I heard a woman say.
JIGGA WHAT!? Did you just say JUDGEMENT, to ME?! Aw Holy Hell! Here I am, good as can be. I say my please and thank you's, I open doors and help elderly across streets. I work hard, pay attention, and always help. I accept people, and even if I think you're whack, I don't get all up in your business and YOU are passing judgement on ME!?
I clenched my beer with an iron fist.
I walked my sinful self to the register.
And I bought that devils drink, saying thank you to the clerk as I left, of course.
*Special thanks to my stereo, which decided to blast The Thermals "take the control/grab hold!/ get fucking ready!" as I left the parking lot.
I am sure many a shameful head shakes were had as my beat up Tracer, Obama For Prez and Oregon Love stickers in all, drove into the sunset.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Time Sheets
Last night I went to an open interview at a pupular bar in downtown Boise. First off, I would like to announce how awesome I am in driving MYSELF downtown, at night time none the less! That's prize worthy. I know nothing about the lay out of this town, but I made it. Early, of course. So early I had to sit in my car and pretend to be on my phone any time anyone would walk by. Better way early than a minute late, I say.
I walked into the bar at 9:20. Interviews were to start at 9:30. It stank. Apparently, you're allowed to smoke in bars here. G-ROSS. I sat down at a table with the four other prospective employees and had a chat or two. Soon I realised nearly every person in Boise was waltzing in for a job as well. Ugh. With each person my little heart cracked. By 9:35 the 40 of us were corralled into an elevated section of the venue. We were told to state our name and something about is. "I'm-" "I moved here-" "I used to be-" "KISS ASS KISS ASS-" We all shouted to get our story out. Mid way through the introductions the owner came in and began asking people questions about who they were and what they do. It seemed to be completely at random. I was asked a question, however some people didn't even get a chance to say their name. In a matter of moments the mass interview session was over and we were sent home. Owner said he would call the potentials to a test run with in the next thirty minutes. It was all so American Idol.
Blah. I walked quickly out the door, keys between fingers (it's downtown at night, dudes. I'ma protect myself!) I got in my car and drove home, hopeless. (Not before getting totally lost and driving down the wrong side of a road. Oops!)
Once home, I popped a sleeping pill knowing I wouldn't be receiving a phone call.
I didn't. Bullet dodged.
Today, I had an interview at a super awesome salon. I was so nervous for this interview, I spent the morning talking to myself in interview talk and perfecting my make up (Uh, trying to impress stylists with your pre-pubescent make up techniques- IMPOSSIBLE!) I arrived super early (better way early than a minute late, I say) and totally rocked the interview. I was felling pretty good when I left, but made sure I didn't get my hopes up.
30 minutes later I was hired. HOLLA!
They say it's very difficult to get a job here in Boise. I heard 2 months is the magic number. It took me 4 days. Not to sound all into myself but- HELL YEAH I RULE- SUCK IT UNEMPLOYMENT!
I walked into the bar at 9:20. Interviews were to start at 9:30. It stank. Apparently, you're allowed to smoke in bars here. G-ROSS. I sat down at a table with the four other prospective employees and had a chat or two. Soon I realised nearly every person in Boise was waltzing in for a job as well. Ugh. With each person my little heart cracked. By 9:35 the 40 of us were corralled into an elevated section of the venue. We were told to state our name and something about is. "I'm-" "I moved here-" "I used to be-" "KISS ASS KISS ASS-" We all shouted to get our story out. Mid way through the introductions the owner came in and began asking people questions about who they were and what they do. It seemed to be completely at random. I was asked a question, however some people didn't even get a chance to say their name. In a matter of moments the mass interview session was over and we were sent home. Owner said he would call the potentials to a test run with in the next thirty minutes. It was all so American Idol.
Blah. I walked quickly out the door, keys between fingers (it's downtown at night, dudes. I'ma protect myself!) I got in my car and drove home, hopeless. (Not before getting totally lost and driving down the wrong side of a road. Oops!)
Once home, I popped a sleeping pill knowing I wouldn't be receiving a phone call.
I didn't. Bullet dodged.
Today, I had an interview at a super awesome salon. I was so nervous for this interview, I spent the morning talking to myself in interview talk and perfecting my make up (Uh, trying to impress stylists with your pre-pubescent make up techniques- IMPOSSIBLE!) I arrived super early (better way early than a minute late, I say) and totally rocked the interview. I was felling pretty good when I left, but made sure I didn't get my hopes up.
30 minutes later I was hired. HOLLA!
They say it's very difficult to get a job here in Boise. I heard 2 months is the magic number. It took me 4 days. Not to sound all into myself but- HELL YEAH I RULE- SUCK IT UNEMPLOYMENT!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Welcome Home
Let's get this started.
I moved to Boise Thursday the 10th. I loaded up on Red Bull shots (which I never drank, probably for the best) and rice crispy treats ( which I did eat, totally for the best) and was on the road by 6:30am. Terrified, I drove my tin can of a car the 366 miles all by my lonesome.
Thankfully, I made it with out any problems. The drive went by quickly, probably because I spent most of the time daydreaming about puppies (time flies when you're having fun!).
I arrived to my main man and a totally sweet apartment. After years of living in college dumps (run down houses with 4 dirty boys, third story of a domestic violence clinic with party animals, old duplex with a shitty cat...) this place looked like a dream. Washer and dryer, dish washer, and AC? Hell yes! My first order of business after giving my BF a friendly hello- Good Times. Yes, that little burger joint pretty much drove me to Boise. Those fries, oh God those fries.
I spent the rest of the evening in my comfy abode inhaling grade F beef and fry sauce.
Day two of Boise was spent in a haze. I slept a total of 3 hours my first night. I layed wide awake listening to every sound of my new house thinking someone was trying to break in.
Friday evening my friend Kolbie picked me up for a night of Rock Band. Yes! Back in Eugene, we would rock out to this game almost every night. Kolbie made some muddy buddies (which I had never had, is that some mid west thing or am I just stupid?) and I did my darnedest at the drums.
Saturday morning Will's mom picked us up for some car shopping. My super lucky BF was going to get a new Subaru. The shopping took hours but in the end we ended up with a pimpin' 2002 Subaru Forester. The huge ass moon roof rolls back so I can stand up and be all "New York! New York!" It's awesome.
Saturday night my friend Laura picked me up and we went to her house to hooka. Well, she did, I didn't. I don't want the black lung, ya'll.
Sunday I was too tired. I stayed inside and konked out on sleeping pills around 9. Party Hardy.
Monday was yesterday, and yesterday was Monday. Will and I went downtown for some Guidos pizza, and walked around the town. After a bit of window shopping we remembered The Record Exchange. Excited, we walked the blocks and found it. At first, I thought this place rocked, but I was quickly disappointed when I discovered the d-baggery of the employees. Dudes who work record stores are always ego-trippin', it's a fact. But these guys, they just thought they were hot shit. Their eyes followed me in total disgust, practically screaming "We don't serve your kind!" Sure, I was dressed in pink, looking all sweet and mainstream, but I was also combing my way through X, Minor Threat, and The Germs. Puh-leeeze boys! I know you thought I was lost. I wasn't. I know my shit, and you can eat it. Then Will gave me a hug. Easy enough, until I looked over and saw the two said employees mocking us, pretending to grope one another. Final straw boys! We left, and I contemplated grabbing will and having a disgusting display of dirty affection outside their window, finished with a cute little birdie that is my middle finger.
We traveled on to The Flicks. I expected it to be something like the Bijou, Eugene's most awesome church-converted-to-movie theater. It's pretty darn close, minus the obese cat (RIP Boo) and probably a few ghosts. We saw Paper Heart. Awww. It was pretty good.
TOOOO MUUUUCH TYYYPPPINGGG.
Ok, whew, that brings me to today. I'm still in my PJ's so needless to say there isn't much to update on. I've got a job interview lined up for tomorrow, I'll fill you in on that later.
I haven't been here too long, but so far I like it. However, here are some weird things I have noticed. Idaho, you so crazy!
*Pumping your own gas- Say what!? I filled my car before I crossed the boarder. I am terrified to do it myself.
*Sales tax- Whats the use of a dollar store if you're really paying $1.06? Despite the LIES, I still love Honk's. My dad would love Honk's too. They sell RC Cola.
*LDS, LDS temples, and people who say LDS- What? First off, its a weird religion, sorry. Second, Your temples are EVERYWHERE and every time I see one I get all excited thinking it's like some super cool place but really it's for wackys! Third, no one says Ladder Day Saints, they say LDS, which in my mind comes out LSD, which just makes me picture Conservative peeps tripping out on acid. That part is kind of cool.
*Location, location, location- Everything here is so spread out. Gone are the days of walking 100 yards to Safeway (ah, Safeway, that will be next). I now have to drive 15 minutes to get ANYWHERE, and to make matters worse, I don't know where anything is in the first place! Gah!
*Safeway, Market of Choice, Whole Foods, Trader Joes- You don't have ANY OF THEM Idaho! Whats up with that? I want my Safeway M&M cookies, you don't got it.
*Stinker gas stations- Ha! Stinker...
So that about gets us up to date. I should probably do some more unpacking...
I moved to Boise Thursday the 10th. I loaded up on Red Bull shots (which I never drank, probably for the best) and rice crispy treats ( which I did eat, totally for the best) and was on the road by 6:30am. Terrified, I drove my tin can of a car the 366 miles all by my lonesome.
Thankfully, I made it with out any problems. The drive went by quickly, probably because I spent most of the time daydreaming about puppies (time flies when you're having fun!).
I arrived to my main man and a totally sweet apartment. After years of living in college dumps (run down houses with 4 dirty boys, third story of a domestic violence clinic with party animals, old duplex with a shitty cat...) this place looked like a dream. Washer and dryer, dish washer, and AC? Hell yes! My first order of business after giving my BF a friendly hello- Good Times. Yes, that little burger joint pretty much drove me to Boise. Those fries, oh God those fries.
I spent the rest of the evening in my comfy abode inhaling grade F beef and fry sauce.
Day two of Boise was spent in a haze. I slept a total of 3 hours my first night. I layed wide awake listening to every sound of my new house thinking someone was trying to break in.
Friday evening my friend Kolbie picked me up for a night of Rock Band. Yes! Back in Eugene, we would rock out to this game almost every night. Kolbie made some muddy buddies (which I had never had, is that some mid west thing or am I just stupid?) and I did my darnedest at the drums.
Saturday morning Will's mom picked us up for some car shopping. My super lucky BF was going to get a new Subaru. The shopping took hours but in the end we ended up with a pimpin' 2002 Subaru Forester. The huge ass moon roof rolls back so I can stand up and be all "New York! New York!" It's awesome.
Saturday night my friend Laura picked me up and we went to her house to hooka. Well, she did, I didn't. I don't want the black lung, ya'll.
Sunday I was too tired. I stayed inside and konked out on sleeping pills around 9. Party Hardy.
Monday was yesterday, and yesterday was Monday. Will and I went downtown for some Guidos pizza, and walked around the town. After a bit of window shopping we remembered The Record Exchange. Excited, we walked the blocks and found it. At first, I thought this place rocked, but I was quickly disappointed when I discovered the d-baggery of the employees. Dudes who work record stores are always ego-trippin', it's a fact. But these guys, they just thought they were hot shit. Their eyes followed me in total disgust, practically screaming "We don't serve your kind!" Sure, I was dressed in pink, looking all sweet and mainstream, but I was also combing my way through X, Minor Threat, and The Germs. Puh-leeeze boys! I know you thought I was lost. I wasn't. I know my shit, and you can eat it. Then Will gave me a hug. Easy enough, until I looked over and saw the two said employees mocking us, pretending to grope one another. Final straw boys! We left, and I contemplated grabbing will and having a disgusting display of dirty affection outside their window, finished with a cute little birdie that is my middle finger.
We traveled on to The Flicks. I expected it to be something like the Bijou, Eugene's most awesome church-converted-to-movie theater. It's pretty darn close, minus the obese cat (RIP Boo) and probably a few ghosts. We saw Paper Heart. Awww. It was pretty good.
TOOOO MUUUUCH TYYYPPPINGGG.
Ok, whew, that brings me to today. I'm still in my PJ's so needless to say there isn't much to update on. I've got a job interview lined up for tomorrow, I'll fill you in on that later.
I haven't been here too long, but so far I like it. However, here are some weird things I have noticed. Idaho, you so crazy!
*Pumping your own gas- Say what!? I filled my car before I crossed the boarder. I am terrified to do it myself.
*Sales tax- Whats the use of a dollar store if you're really paying $1.06? Despite the LIES, I still love Honk's. My dad would love Honk's too. They sell RC Cola.
*LDS, LDS temples, and people who say LDS- What? First off, its a weird religion, sorry. Second, Your temples are EVERYWHERE and every time I see one I get all excited thinking it's like some super cool place but really it's for wackys! Third, no one says Ladder Day Saints, they say LDS, which in my mind comes out LSD, which just makes me picture Conservative peeps tripping out on acid. That part is kind of cool.
*Location, location, location- Everything here is so spread out. Gone are the days of walking 100 yards to Safeway (ah, Safeway, that will be next). I now have to drive 15 minutes to get ANYWHERE, and to make matters worse, I don't know where anything is in the first place! Gah!
*Safeway, Market of Choice, Whole Foods, Trader Joes- You don't have ANY OF THEM Idaho! Whats up with that? I want my Safeway M&M cookies, you don't got it.
*Stinker gas stations- Ha! Stinker...
So that about gets us up to date. I should probably do some more unpacking...
Sunday, September 13, 2009
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