Alright, I was going to dedicate today's post to Boise's awful drivers (for reals, ya'll ride ass like a perv.) As well as a HI-LARIOUS trend I have noticed (big boys on big tricycles...seriously) but it's all going to have to wait for one major "WTF" of a tale.
It all began, oh, 15 minutes ago when I drove myself to Winco. I was feelin' pretty good about getting myself there with out getting lost. I was on a mission for a Birthday cupcake (it's a friends b-day) and maybe a jo-jo or two for myself (what? It's Saturday!). Jo-jo's in hand I made my way to the bakery, only to be stopped by one of my only favorite alcoholic beverages, Wild Blue. This beer tastes like blueberries, and looks like dirty Kool-Aide, but I love it. Now, I don't drink much, I've kinda retired from my party days. And since I began my new medication (my doctors are trying to turn me into The Hulk) I don't really drink at all, ever. But, I thought I would treat myself and buy a pack. I can drink half of one bottle with out going all street-rat crazy. So, I stood in front of the coolers, looking at the beer like I really knew what I was thinking. Things were chill as I contemplated my purchase- UNTIL
"Daddy yuck!" A little voice screamed. "Yes, we don't drink that!" Roared a man.
Peeps were down on my alcohol contemplation. My 15 year old (looking) body grasping that big kid drink was not sitting too well with the customers of Winco.
Whatever, I thought. It's good to tell your lil' ones not to drink this stuff.
I grabbed a case. All was cool again- UNTIL
"Judgement!" I heard a woman say.
JIGGA WHAT!? Did you just say JUDGEMENT, to ME?! Aw Holy Hell! Here I am, good as can be. I say my please and thank you's, I open doors and help elderly across streets. I work hard, pay attention, and always help. I accept people, and even if I think you're whack, I don't get all up in your business and YOU are passing judgement on ME!?
I clenched my beer with an iron fist.
I walked my sinful self to the register.
And I bought that devils drink, saying thank you to the clerk as I left, of course.
*Special thanks to my stereo, which decided to blast The Thermals "take the control/grab hold!/ get fucking ready!" as I left the parking lot.
I am sure many a shameful head shakes were had as my beat up Tracer, Obama For Prez and Oregon Love stickers in all, drove into the sunset.
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Ok...that's just freakin' bizarre. In my 23 years of living in Boise I've never heard of something so rude! How do you manage to meet the crazies in Boise? Were you downtown or at the one on Fairview?
ReplyDeleteAlso, the drivers here are even crazier! When you're turning right on a red you have to constantly watch for illegal U-turners who won't stop for you (even though you have the right of way. Also, people here don't seem to understand the concept of a 4-way stop...they just go when they want to- so annoying. The most annoying thing though is that they seem to think bike lanes double as an extra lane of traffic if they feel like you're in their way. Craziness!
Seriously, those mormons is cray zay! Kidding. But for reals. That lady must be insane. She probably hands out tracks in front of porn shops and walmart and that sort of thing. Ha.
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